It doesn't seem I'll be able to return to work, despite wanting to be back in the operating room. Not as a patient, mind you. Helping. But I suppose one of the main reasons I'm still alive and doing better is the fact that I'm not working. At least, that's what docs have said. And other medical professionals. And most of my friends. And a lot of my family. And I am thinking I should probably go along with this concept. Its so strange, I've been working since before high school, babysitting since it was legal for me to be left alone with kids, then at least full-time since adulthood. Prior to this being diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension, if I wasn't working full-time, I was in school full-time while working part-time. I made time for fun, though. I have a few stamps in my passport from traipsing around the world.
But regardless of where I was, it was more about the people I was with, or who I was visiting. Which is why when all is said and done, to touch on my last post, I want people to say I was there for them. With them.
When I first got sick, one of my Choose-Your-Own adventure endings to my life was to travel to India or somewhere abroad where I could just volunteer everything to just hold babies until I died. But funding for that was nearly impossible, even though it seemed like a great idea. I needed a more thought out plan since my medications are not cheap, and being without them is drawn-out suicide . So now I have another Choose-Your-Own adventure ending, the 'just start driving' end, where I want to get the most fuel efficient car I can, and get my map, and start visiting the grown up versions of people I've missed seeing over the years, to see their happy lives, and be around their successes.
I've never been happy sitting in one place anyway. It'll be my proverbial long walk. After all...
"Not all who wander are lost."
Travel details coming soon. Keep posted.