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Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Ugly Plans For Laughs

I want to be cremated.

This has been my wish since my early adult years, for several reasons. First, I've never been one to stay in one spot. Anyone who knows anything about me can verify knows that. When people ask where I'm at nowadays, I usually respond with a variation of "loosely based in Tucson." Because, when I'm feeling well, I travel as much as I possibly can. Dead or alive, I don't want to stay put.

Second, I have a travel bucket list, and I'm hoping my friends will complete my travel list with my ashes. I haven't been to Africa or Asia, and maybe they can use my death as a reason to see those two continents. I also haven't been to Antarctica, but it's too expensive to go see some penguins, a few other extremophiles, and snow.

Third, I don't want anyone to cry at my grave. I've seen people mourning at graves and I don't want that. AT ALL. Especially my mom. She's shed enough tears.

Hopefully, I'll have done enough in my life to qualify for my version of heavenone with mango trees and my hunka-hunka burning love. I know it's there. And I hope people realize I'm there, laughing and building rainbows and haunting and practical joking my living friends. Laughter through tears, because crying causes headaches, and it's uglier, messier, and snottier than laughing. That's not my style.

The only reason I would change my mind would be if that aforementioned hunka shows up. I don't want to be buried next to anyone else. That would be the only person I would want to be settled next to, the reason I would sit still and not travel. I'd stop traveling and settle down now if the right man showed up and changed my last name. The deceased in my family have all been married and buried or cremated and they're all over the place, and buried next to their spouseswith the exception of an older brother who is buried on top of grandparents in Kauai. Everyone else in my family are with their spouses. And since mine hasn't shown up, yep, cremate me, take me to Africa and Asia. Divvy me up and let's go. A couple of last adventures with good friends. That's my planned exit.

Or fireworks. Maybe fireworks.


  1. I'll travel with you...dead or alive. :)

    1. See that's what I want to hear! :)

  2. How I love you let me count the ways. It has been way to long not to tell you what an inspiration you are in my life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I don't know where you live right now but let me know so I can be more of a part of your life. Hugs to you girlfriend

  3. Miki, I suggest you look online for Dr. John McDougall, and Dr. Caldwell Esselstyn. They are among an increasing number of competent MD's and researchers who advocate a plant based whole foods lifestyle. I had a heart attack in 2005, had a stent, but rather than relying on drugs and surgery decided to follow the PBWF regimen. More than 11 years later and at 81 I am healthy, strong, and energetic, and on no medication. Healthy eating and exercise has given me a new lease on a long and productive life.

  4. Dang! Why haven't I found this blog before?

    As I age (62 years and counting) I miss friends and family, and frequently envy the fact that they graduated earlier than I. Thank you for letting us see life and the Lord through your eyes.
    But I still won't sweat an unorganized house. But then, I'm a guy.

  5. I was recently sent an email with a link to LDSliving and the article written about a few of your experiences. I recognized you and your story right away. Would love to hear from you if you feel so inclined.

    I too have traveled above and beyond...:)
    and I have experienced several of the same and similar health conditions...
    and a myriad of other autoimmune diseases and exceptionally fun and exciting diagnoses from the medical community.
    I am still alive. I chose to come back and to stay.
    I have come and gone more than a couple times.
    And I am ready to kick the bucket with the exception that I agreed to stay for a lot longer on this planet. :)

    you can email me at if you are interested

    Julie Rowe

  6. My son Has Lyme. As we have researched Lyme, many of your conditions are caused by it. Have you been tested? There is treatment.

  7. My son Has Lyme. As we have researched Lyme, many of your conditions are caused by it. Have you been tested? There is treatment.

  8. Travel bucket list is something that depends on where you headed to .

  9. On the other hand, when you're gone, you won't have to know or feel the depths of their sorrow. You'll never know how much they'll miss you. #andmakethemcry

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  11. My ex was so mean. I want to be cremated and if possible, I'd like a thimble full of my ashes to make it into her pepper shaker.